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Putting life on holding waiting for something you think will eventually happen
As the title says I have just learnt a life lesson. I have been waiting for something to happen that I knew it was going to occur at "any moment", that moment arrived now, two years from the day my waiting started; yet the "benefit" I was expecting to get from that, DID NOT HAPPEN!. During these two years I was afraid to change my life because I was sure that if I did, then "that thing will happen and I will miss it". I kept telling myself that I needed to focus and heal myself in other areas, I could do that while waiting. I know that things never happen as we want because we do not have absolute control over them and yet what a fool I have been! First I was incredulous, then sad, upset and finally I found acceptance in the knowledge that perhaps it happened as it was meant to be. In all, I wonder whether it was just fear to get out of my comfort zone, to change, that hold me where I was all this time, that there was never in my heart a real desire of getting that "outcome". What do you think?
I think the lesson to learn here is to accept your current circumstances and be happy with whatever you have in the present. Most people live in hope that if this or that happen in the future, then it will make them happy. It's like playing the lottery, you think if you win an enormous amount of money, you'll be happier than you are now. Truth is money will buy you some happiness for a short while but in the end, if you were not happy in the inside, you'll come back to your normal state of being unhappy.
My experience is that sometimes you think you want something real bad but deep down you don't really. It's difficult to differentiate between the signal of the heart and the trick the mind is playing to make you believe you genuinely want something.
If what you were waiting for didn't happen, then it was never meant to be. Maybe there's something else planned for you - it's waiting for you to come to realisation of it first. What do you think?
Thanks Gices, I really appreciate your response.
Analysing the situation I came to the same conclusions. I know that my whole being was not on going. I thank for what I have but a tricky/messy/difficult time is coming on my way, perhaps there are lessons to be learnt from it and that is the reason I was chosen to stay.
I wish I could realise what is my purpose. I have not clue.